Listen more, Speak less

Do you talk too much?

Too often, we don’t truly give others a chance to be heard. We fail to pause and earnestly consider what they’re expressing. Instead —and too often— we’re waiting to respond, especially when we hear something we dislike or during arguments.

The most important time to listen is when there’s disagreement, conflict, or discomfort. What is the other person trying to convey?

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Our ability to express our desires and mutually understand each other is nothing short of marvelous.

One of the keys to great communication is truly listening, and importantly, showing you’ve deeply understood. Pause to absorb what’s said, then reflect on what you think and how you feel about it. Relay the message back in your own words. Show empathy by demonstrating that you’ve considered their points and care about their feelings.

This won’t always happen in the moment, but the best conversations linger. They stay with you, and return later.

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Listening requires patience. Understanding requires empathy. Good communication is built on mutual trust and openness.

When someone expresses a position, can you describe their points, their feelings, as well as —or better than— they can? If not, then you have work to do.

If communication is an exchange of information, then trust makes the exchange easier. Trust is foundational for human connection. You grow it by showing genuine care. In conversation, keep giving and receiving in balance¹.

One of our greatest strengths as a species is our ability to communicate and coordinate. You’ll achieve more through deliberate listening, and by demonstrating you’ve truly heard, understood, and considered what is shared.